Children at church....

Some time ago I read an article about the distraction that little children are at Mass to others if they make a noise or cause others to lose concentration and therefore should be taken to the 'cry room' or that even parents should attend two different Mass' so as not to have children interfere with the reverence and quiet of others reflections during Holy Mass......
As this line of thinking is abhorrent me I felt I needed to respond to it.
Below is what I wrote with some more additions as I have had more time to think about this issue.

As a mother of 12 children from young adult to under 1 I find the whole debate about children at Mass irritating.
Children belong with parents and parents belong at Mass together, not separately but as a family. I have on only a handful of occasions taken one of our children out during Mass.
I refuse to take them out if our babies babble, or chat or smile at the granny behind us.
 If the baby starts to cry I will breast feed that baby for comfort.
If the baby still won't settle I pass the child to my husband or to an older sibling. If the baby still does not settle I will walk to the side of the church, this is usually enough of a distraction and then I go back to our pew.

I rarely go outside and we have never attended a Church that had a cry room. If we had I would be a contentious objector ,because I believe we are at Mass, all of us together.
Just for your information I also object to children's liturgy as well for the same reason.
The family attends Mass together. It is important and as such receives due reverence.
We have always attended Mass in our Church clothes too. These are special and dressy and once again shows this is not an everyday event, this is special . We always sit in the front pew (or two) so the children can see what is happening. I believe this gives them a focus.

As for the controversial view of taking snacks and drinks,we never take food or drink as it is a distraction to everyone, children and parents alike. I also maintain that Mass is only 1 hour long, I don't think little ones will starve during this time, so it is purely a distraction tactic which I don't think is a long term good idea.
Having said that we do allow a special teddy if the child is attached or a small hand held 'friend' or a car for our boys. Sometimes we have allowed the little St Joseph books, but only one as this can lead to simply flicking from one book to another and thus can lead to unwanted 'wiggling'

Our middle boys are altar boys and we have had many comments on how their reverence helps the person concerned stay focused.
You may wonder where did this come from- them understanding that Mass is special, was it from being inside the church at Mass or from being able to go outside (or cry room) as soon as they made a noise. Children are very smart they will work that out pretty soon that if they make a noise  and noise is not appreciated that  you get to leave and go somewhere more fun.

Our children are I think pretty good at church, our younger ones are mostly too, and yes we have a few 'special needs' children, which makes it a challenge.
What is our protocol for dealing with ' the wiggles?'  Our focus has been to cuddle and separate any child or children who need a little extra care during Mass. Or I might point out what the priest is doing or point to the  statues or Mary and Jesus, something to bring their little minds  back to the reason we are here.

Finally, I believe because we had decided that we would have our children with us during church that we refused to let any of those stares or comments stop us from keeping our children with us during this most important time.

Of course  our children have learnt appropriate behaviour as they went along. We get frequent comments on our children's behaviour BUT that has taken work and has not been achieved over night.
In fact I am sure our younger ones emulate the older children's behaviour, who were the ones we actually had to train. This does not mean they are ALWAYS perfect. They do have off days as do we and so then we just go back to the basics that we have held on to all these years.

One thing we have never done is to let the children run around the church. They stay within the pew.
I remember a few parishes where we were given advice as younger parents about 'letting our children run around the church so they feel comfortable here'.
For us it never seemed the right choice, we are not at at playground, we are not at a social event this is church and it requires a different set of rules and standards.
Higher standards than we would for everyday events for this is not an everyday event ( well it can be but you know what I mean) it is special and we are honoured to be able to participate and should be thankful for the opportunity and act appropriately.

So apart from the special cuddle toy we don't allow them play things, colouring books etc, either - this is not entertainment this is Mass. Of course we have had slightly older children get to the stage that says 'this is boring' and we tell them 'this is special and you are not here to be entertained.'
Do they get it? Well I think so, they certainly 'get' the fact that this is our standard and we are not negotiating.
I once knew a family that allowed their daughter to take her knitting to church because she was bored!
What does this tell the child? That it isn't important and you can just be here without 'being here at all.'
Not really what I think attending mass is all about.
For heavens sake it is such a small amount of time really.
Do remember though that little children don't always have a clear idea of time and so can't work out how much longer mass will take, our 6 year old still asks how many more songs before we finish. This gives him a focus and something to work too, but he knows the routine and respects it too.

I also compare this time and the expectations to what you would expect your child to do at school. Would you allow your child to run around and eat and drink while a teacher was trying to teach them?
No you would expect them to pay attention for that amount of time!
'So why not expect the same amount of attention for the most important part of our child's education - their faith.

So I would just say to any new parents DO NOT be intimidated by those who would ask you to leave. Stand up for you and your child's rights. Attend as a FAMILY. None of this going to separate Mass' to keep the little ones under control, so others don't get distracted.
Be gentle but firm in your response to children and babies behaviour but remember they are children and not perfect, oops neither are we.
However, give your children the gift of Mass as a special event in their lives that we attend as a family because God gave us families to learn and grow in and that is our responsibility as Godly parents.

As an aside- from personal experience I would like to say that I am more distracted by those teens and adults (who actually come) who are dressed immodestly and those who show little respect in the way they take Communion.
Not to mention all the people who chat before and after mass.
We have also been very distracted after confession as we are praying, that people show so little respect for those preparing for Mass and chat so liberally and loudly.
Should not this be a bigger distraction than children who are still learning the importance and specialness of attending Mass, with their parents as guides and role models.

Patience, humbleness and gentleness is what is needed for our children as they come to know and love the beauty of this Sacrament.

And for all those who pass judgement on families with young children at Mass I would like to ask them 'where are their own children and grandchildren?'
Because they are not at Mass either. Perhaps they thought they would be better off not coming because they never understood the significance of Mass and felt as if they were a burden or not worthy of teaching the significance of  proper behaviour and so just shunted off to the cry-room or outside where they would not bother those more holy then they.

Please welcome the little children as Jesus would. Help them and train them with love, respect, patience  and gentleness so they too can know the wonder of Holy Mass.


Blessings to you and your homes,
  

Patience v's Waiting

Patience is such a wonderful virtue isn't it?

Well I guess it does depend on your perspective.
Sometimes I think I am a very patient person and at other times I KNOW I am not.

Obviously waiting for this new little dumpling to arrive has been a continued effort in patience for me. However I find  that as I am able to overcome the waiting most days the fact some of those those dearest to me, the children are even less patient than I.

After my Dr visit yesterday and the news that we had been expecting (due to a previous Dr on Monday) that we would be meeting our little one on Friday (today if he or she had not arrived) the news of this new date 23rd May was quite unsettling to the children especially.

So my pondering thoughts on this and patience is: that even if we ourselves can be patient it is often harder for those around  us who are anticipating  a much looked forward event that this can then lead to anxiety and impatience. Which in turn can re-alter our own perspective.

Also I think there is a difference between waiting and waiting patiently!!!

Sometimes I also think this is not just the virtue of patience but the value we have placed on the thing we are waiting for.

The more intensly you desire the event/ item to arrive the more store you place upon this. This is where it is harder to have faith that God is control of all situations and that at the right time all will happen.

It is these situations that can be so devestating when it doen't happen when we are expecting it to. Over the last couple of years we have experienced this over and over, and it is hard not to become despondent when a new opportunity arrises and then does not progress to completion.

Patience is an everyday life goal, not daily even sometimes but hourly.

I know that it is the more these event/items that I have more trouble with.

I think over the years I have become more patient with those everyday situations of dealing with children and the life style we have. The little things I can give to God to help me with.

It is the major events in our lives I have trouble handing over, usually because I want them so much, not just for me but for our family as well.

So for the last few days of this pregnancy I will try to leave it in God's hands and be faithful to that, and in my own way help those special anxious brothers and sisters to be  reach that place too.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Love through Speech

I can't remember where I saw this poem below first but it is something I am so aware of each day.
The way I speak to those most special to me at each opportunity during the day is of paramont importance to me.

I know that what I say can often be missed by the way I say it, and that sometimes the more 'needed' rebuke, if spoken with a gentle and loving tone that cares for the realtionship and love of the person involved means that it is much more effective.

It’s not so much what you say

As the manner in which you say it

It’s not so much the language you use

As the tone in which you convey it;

“Come here?” I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

“Come here,” I said-

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grown by study and art

But tone leaps from the inner self

Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you are mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,

Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words-

Keep it out of your voice.

Author Unknown

My prayer is to always to remember that ~ Love is a giving of my all and that means putting others first, not only in manner but in the way I present my love to them.
Love is a constant outpuring of my very essence to those I care about most.......how can I not want to do that more perfectly.

Lord help me each and every day to follow my heart in this manner!!


Blessings to you and your homes,

Motherhood is NOT for Wimps ♥

I know many of you are aware of my passion for the promotion of homemaking and motherhood and the role of those who choose to embrace this lifestyle and how we can encourage and inspire one another in this precious vocation.

What many of you may not know is that this was not the way I was raised or encouraged as a new wife and  homemaker. Certainly the desire to become parents while Stephen and I were 'financially non prepared' for a little one was not encouraged either.

However despite these obstacles I can honestly say we have never regretted the decisions we have  made in terms of family choices ...the fact we have and always will be being open to new life. In this decision   we have always acknowledged that our God has always provided for our needs through one way or another, although perhaps not in how we would have desired!

In our early years of learning some of the ideas we now take for granted I was blessed to be given some old magazines by a lady at church, who by the way was a grandmother by then.

 It was a great eye opener to find that we were not alone in our love and desire to create a 'family circle' that not only welcomed children but openly embraced the love and value  of family  as the core to our local community and then to the wider world.
In essence to create a 'domestic church' that would build up our children to be strong individuals who would support and embrace their Faith and live their lives with integrity and love.

Since that early time I have been a great fan of Above Rubies  getting their magazines when I could and now they have  a  Facebook Page as well to encourage still.
I admire Nancy Campbell and her devotion she has had  over the years to the promotion of motherhood.

I thank God always that He has brought these type of women into my life, through magazines, books and as becauset he internet has evolved,  to nurture and encourage me in this vocation because  I think for me my life would have been so empty of a great many blessings. 

This is a poem Nancy posted for Mothers day on Sunday.

I really love it!
The way it show how so many aspects of our role as nurturers and yet devoted workers to our vocation.

I pray you enjoy it too ♥

There are those who would spurn the vocation of

   mothers

And say of careers, it’s inferior to others,

I'll have to admit that it's not easy work,

It's relentless and from it you cannot shirk.

It takes all of your energy being a mother and wife,

Requiring daily commitment and a disciplined life,

It demands all your resources of patience and love,

Long-suffering and wisdom from the Father above.

It takes self-control and continual endurance,

It needs constant faith and great perseverance,

It means total sacrifice, forgetting your self,

Sometimes you think that you’re left on the shelf!

And what about time? It’s no longer yours,

It belongs to all those who come in your doors.

Claim your own rights? No, they're all gone too,

Like your right to sleep the whole night through!

It's not so easy to crawl into bed with a book

Or go off and dream in some quiet little nook.

It seems like you're totally losing your life

To be a good mother and a submissive wife.

But oh, faithful mother, please do not despair,

In God's perfect plan you do have a share,

To fulfil your destiny planned from creation

Which is to nurture children and BUILD A NATION!

You’re walking in the footsteps of Jesus your Lord

Who sacrificed all, His life He out-poured,

He didn't cling to His rights with selfish futility

He didn’t claim any privilege but walked in humility.

 He gave up His life to save millions of others,

This principle works in the lives of all mothers,

When you lose your own life you'll find it again,

A rewarding life, without guilt or shame.

So lift up your head, embrace your calling so high,

You're in God's perfect will, there’s no reason to

  sigh!

You may often feel worthless - don't listen to this lie,

Your influence goes higher than the clouds in the

   sky!

As you nurture and train your God-given seed,

As you sharpen these 'arrows' by word and by deed,

You shape the nation - you determine its course,

Your mothering’s not wasted, it’s a great mighty

 force!

As your children leave home and go into the world

The proof of your training will soon be unfurled

You’ll influence countries where you've never been,

And down the generations its effect will be seen.

Your work is so powerful, no wonder it's tough,

But God is behind you, He's the GOD WHO IS

 ENOUGH,

His strength and His wisdom He will give to you,

He stands by His promises which are totally true.

He'll always be with you right through to the end

As you follow His leading and deny the world's

 trend,

Each morning you wake, your strength He'll renew.

He'll fill your home with His presence and His

   blessed peace too.

Love from Nancy Campbell

 Blessings to you and your homes,

How Would I React....If?

HOW WOULD I REACT IF??

This is a thought I have often pondered as I go through my life and different challenges arise for me.
One of the times I usually wonder this is during Holy Week and we look at the last few days of Jesus life as he goes to the crucifixion.

How easy it seems to condemn those Jews who cried out "crucify him, crucify him" as they stand before Pilate. Now I know, that we also know some people did not call for this and others were influenced by the Sadducee's and Pharisee's to be one of the crowd.

It seems easy in hindsight to say I would be one of those who would stand up and defend Jesus, BUT in reality would I have?
Would I have seen what I am able to see so clearly now with all the ability of hindsight to help me?
Would I have, even if I had known had the courage to stand up for what I believed in, would I have drawn attention to my self by daring to stand up? Because let us not forget that it was a whole lot more cruel and hard a time to live in!

It is so easy to say I WOULD stand up for what I believe and I do think I would but how can I really know?
I think it is only going through the trials and temptations before us that we can really know how we would react in any given situation.

Today as we listened to the bible story of Doubting Thomas~
Now Thomas, one of the twelve, who is called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.

    ²⁵The other disciples therefore said to him: We have seen the Lord. But he said to them: Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.

    ²⁶And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them. Jesus cometh, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said: Peace be to you.

    ²⁷Then he saith to Thomas: Put in thy finger hither, and see my hands; and bring hither thy hand, and put it into my side; and be not faithless, but believing.

    ²⁸Thomas answered, and said to him: My Lord, and my God.

    ²⁹Jesus saith to him: Because thou hast seen me, Thomas, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and have believed.

I again thought how easy it is to read this and say how foolish Thomas was not to believe. How could he doubt? He who knew Jesus, who walked and talked with Him and knew Him so intimately, how can he doubt?
But again I look into my own life and I see Thomas in all to many instances.

Again I ask How would I react...If?

When I was a young girl I still remember imagining in my mind a life far more exciting than mine. A life of action, adventure and being the heroine. Being the one who would save others and be recognised for these truly remarkable and brave actions.

In my mind it was real and vivid and I look back and think how great an imagination I had, and frankly still have.

I still love to read and watch on DVD the lives of not only great fictional characters but the lives of the saints and missionaries, and the way they did respond when asked to defend what they believed in.

There are so many wonderful stories out there (apart from the Bible) that I think can inspire us to live beyond what we think we can do. Books and movies that give us a glimpse of what a man or woman of character is like. These same characters real or imaginary, because I think a great fictional character can inspire as well, can help us prepare our hearts and souls with the virtues we need to be able to answer the question when asked-
How will I react....now.....in this situation.......

I want to be able to answer in the affirmative, that I will stand for what I believe in regardless of the cost. Will I be ready?
Well that depends on how I prepare myself doesn't it?

For me preparation means spending time reading my Bible, spending time in prayer, reading uplifting books and watching inspiring DVDs.

It means only opening my heart and mind to those things that uplift and encourage me. To say NO to those things I know do not fit the bill so to speak.
To say NO even to those things that while not being 'bad' for me by the same token do not allow me to give my best. For my time (as yours is too) is limited and I don't really have time to say YES to all the opportunities that present themselves to me.

I need to keep my focus on the Lord and what I know he has asked of me.....even when it means I will need to say NO to others, even if it means I have to resist some other seemingly great opportunities, even if it means I have to STAND ALONE.

And there it is the 'million dollar question' where the 'rubber meets the road'- can I do it?

I want to!   I hope so!   I pray I can!
I believe I can with faith in my Lord and the perseverance to endure!

And I pray you can too♥

Blessings to you and your homes,

Suffering Quote................

I just had to share the quote from this morning's sermon---

'Suffering is inevitable BUT misery is optional'
not a bad motto to live by.
We all have many sufferings that we have in our lives but how we deal with the suffering  is what   can impact or influence others.

Praying I can respond with joy and peace in my own life.

Have a blessed Sunday to all....

Blessings to you and your homes,

Contentment................

This afternoon as I sat in my rocking chair with my mending basket by my side (plus all the piles of sorting out all over the floor), a hot drink to warm me and a favourite Christian Cd playing. I couldn't help but feel well.............quite content.

Stephen came and laid on the lounge with a book, and we spoke for a while about nothing much before he drifted off as he tends to do when reading. Our children were occupied in various pursuits: outside on the veranda with scooters and roller blades, reading favourite books, and just hanging out together.

I was able to appreciate the wonderful feeling of being in a situation where I felt at peace. A sense of being and doing exactly as I liked.

I mostly think of this as a 'Sunday afternoon feeling.'

However this feeling is not something that I think should be reserved just for Sunday.
The feeling of contentment is an appreciation of being who and what we are in the situation God has placed us, and I think would be of greater benefit if I were able to apply it to every situation in my life.

I know that some days just get so incredibly busy that it seems like a constant round of moving from one moment to the next. Yet the feeling of contentment can still be within my heart, while not to the same extent that I had today but still a large part of my general well being.Due to the fact I was relaxing, doing a passive and relaxing task; listening to music that inspires my soul and enjoying the living and loving  of those that are so special to me I think it was more apparent that these are the situations in life that refresh my soul and bring me great pleasure.

I know that in my heart I am content in my situation!
I do not crave for a different lifestyle.
I have prayers and general issues that I would like God to answer for me, very soon even, but this is not what I am talking about. The contentment I find in my lot in life is not based on my wishes and desires for the future but the thankfulness and joy I find in everyday life with my family.

Some days I do yearn for a little more creative time to myself a little more relaxation and yet this type of activity is not something I wish to enjoy outside my home environment and family circle.

I am content in this role of wife, mother and homemaker and today I was especially blessed to reflect on the beauty of the simple things in my life that bring me much fulfillment and contentment.

I am constantly amazed how my thoughts are so transparent to God and the way different aspects of my life are fulfilled. Today at Mass  we had a very beautiful song that we have had previously. Each time we sing this song I find myself  reflecting on the words and what that means for me. Perhaps this was the start of my contentment today as I was haunted by the beautiful melody and the soul searching words. Music has a powerful infuence on me and I know that the lyrics as well as the melody can give me much food for thought.

So I share them with you~

Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see your face.
Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see.

Open my ears, Lord. Help me to hear your voice.
Open my ears, Lord. Help me to hear.

Open my heart, Lord. Help me to love like you.
Open my heart, Lord. Help me to love.

I live within you, deep in your heart, O Love.
I live within you. Rest now in me.

Now though I must finish up my day with a few more household chores that await my attention.
So to all you have a blessed and enjoyable Sunday!

Blessings to you and your homes,

The Battles of Life...

“The men of the East may spell the stars,
And times and triumphs mark,
But the men signed of the cross of Christ
Go gaily in the dark.

“The men of the East may search the scrolls
For sure fates and fame,
But the men that drink the blood of God
Go singing to their shame.

By G.K Chesterton: The Ballad of the White Horse.

I love these verses.
They make me feel a stronger person. A person who is able to look at the various struggles and temptations of life in the eye and know that I can overcome them.

In relation to so many people my life is so easy, so uncomplicated and so blessed.
This does not mean that I still do not struggle with my many imperfections and failings that come my way .....daily, in fact many times daily.

Sometimes I am so busy being and doing that I do not see these sinful actions as they hit me in the face during the day, over and over. It is only by taking the time to read inspirational books and quotes that I am able to rise above my imperfections and hopefully use these to give the best I can to those around me.

Perhaps I am alone in my needing these things to draw the very best out of me. Perhaps I just don't look enough at the opportunities that I do have in life and use them to grow closer to God.

That doesn't mean that I don't want to. That doesn't mean that I use this as an excuse for my failings. It just means I need to know myself and what gives me more focus and strength to live my life to the fullest, as my God intended.

That is the reason I love to be challenged by these type of quotes: I find them in all types of places - from various movies, other books, blogs and  my own daily reflections.
Only as I take the time to 'be still and know' can I rise above my various imperfections and truly give my life as an offering for my Lord.

One of the things  I have said to  my children from the time they were little is
" If you are listening to a conversation and someone says something you know is wrong. If you do not speak out against this then by your silence you are condoning this train of thought and/or action"
or the other I use often
" Good is good even when no-one is doing it, and Evil is Evil even when everyone is doing it"

This can be so hard to do in many instances in our lives but the one thing I do know is that I WILL do this, and have done this on many occasions.

It is a nerve racking and heart pounding experience BUT I have never regretted any of these actions when I have thrown my life into the 'tlions den', and it is then that I know - I have been a witness to the famous words from Chesterton and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a soldier for Christ.

May you fight your own battles of life bravely and strongly, trusting in the Lord for strength and guidance.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Love is a beautiful thing..

Yesterday in many ways was a day filled with disappointments but also the chance to change the way the day could have gone. It was a day when I questioned my mothering ability and my lack of understanding and compassion for our sweet children that are in need of love and care.

I find that our circumstances over the last few months have allowed the little children to get int o the habit of not wanting to do their assigsned seat work that I require of them as I teach them their Alphabet Path. They are happy to do the crafts and other interesting activities but the learning part is not as exciting.
As part of my dedication this year to really have some progress for both girls and especially for Moran, I devised a plan to do most of the actual seat work for the letters on Monday each week.

Of course I KNOW really that it takes time for new habits to establish and I really DO KNOW that I have to allow the time for this to happen. But in the reality of the day I did not allow for this to happen yesterday. I also know that poor little Moran will reach a point of 'overload' and that this will lead to a huge 'meltdown', but I was so intent on sticking to the schedule of what we HAD to do on Monday that I did not allow for my sweet little ones ACTUAL emotions and feelings.

Well by the time Myffwyn had complained about how much she 'hates school work' and just did as little as possible. Moran had hurried through her assigned pages and not done them to her best ability. Well I  was disappointed with Moran's colouring pages as she really does enjoy this activity a lot and always wants more colouring to do. So I told her she would have to redo them (while Myffy was still fussing over her work) but I would help her with her letters.

As soon as I said it I realised that this was entirely wrong. However by this stage also Moran was past the period of being able to cope with it. I immediately said lets take a break and go out side but she was not able to adjust.

Our poor little darling just kept crying and repeating over and over that she didn't want a break and that she didn't know what I wanted her to do.

At this point I sent her to her room to try and get her to settle down.... not a happening thing. So I went up with her, while she was screaming still.

I laid down on her bed with her wrapped her up in a giant Mummy cuddle, which she returned, and then we spent a good deal of time snuggling and cuddling, Oh, and napping too.

When she was ready to get up we got up together had lunch and spent the afternoon doing our regular routine.

BUT the way Moran responded to what I had to say was so different. She was so sweet and caring, and told me she wanted to do her work tomorrow really well.
I really cant explain her change in attitude, not from anything I said or did to change her, but from me taking the time to cuddle and just BE with her.

How I know I undervalue this with the children. I know it makes a difference but the time to actually do this is sometimes not ever quite available.

I am reminded of this great quote that I try to remember  in stressful times "When your child seems to deserve affection least, that's when they need it most"
I try to remember to be available to our children when  they are having a meltdown.
I also know that having these 'special needs children' have re focused my parenting ideas to a more gentle and compassionate way of life.

I have been considering  a post as well, I am part way through writing one on how having even 'mildly special needs children' changes me as a parent, and how I mother these special gifts.

So my sharing of how I responded to our children's obvious genuine need to be given time to adjust to a new routine, as we all need when we start something new. Is not to show how badly it was handled but to show my belief that ....love conquers all and that love shared is love returned.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Chores in our Home

We are constantly in a state of reorganising Chore lists in our home.
One list will work for a while and then life circumstances change and we try to reassign chores based on these and the new abilities of children.

I must admit that as I come to making this list I think I need to re think what it is that we are trying to achieve with the children doing these chores, apart from the obvious cleaning and helping to keep the home running smoothly so ALL can enjoy the home environment.

We have always believed that a home is a home for all within it's walls and that the keeping of a home neat and tidy is the responsibility of all. The training that occurs from the responsibility of doing chores is then able to be put to use in other matters in life latter on. We have seen this in our older children who have very good work ethics and the ability to take on tasks and opportunities in life as they are presented to them.

I have realized that our younger children do not do as many chores as the older children did  when they were at the same ages. Partly I think this is because we have the older helpers and frankly I just am used to the competency and of these children. But how I remember the times when we were teaching the older ones to do these tasks, how we had to be content with less than perfect to help them gain competency and confidence in the assigned tasks.

However the results are evident now in the fact that our older and middle children can handle pretty much any household task. So In keeping a balance between continuing to have competent help from the older children and a 'teaching theme' with the younger children I am trying to adjust chores to fit.

This is I believe a continuing and non static task for the children as well as myself as we evaluate what is working for us now, and whether this is still working for us even three months from now, for example, when our baby is due.

Of course even though I have only a few personal tasks on this list. I will be helping our younger children learn what is required of them and doing other tasks as well.  There are many things not on the list that need to be done to continue to make 'our house a home'.....and these really are my responsibility.

MORNING:

All~ Individual area of bedroom tidy (bed's made, bookcase tidy, under bed tidy, top of bed tidy, wardrobe tidy and doors CLOSED)
Autumn help Arwen
Vellvin supervise and help where necessary Moran
Eden supervise and help where necessary Myffwyn
Rogan help Corbyn

Personal Grooming: including face washed, hair done, dressed before breakfast (team pairs help younger ones)

Saxon: open curtains
           get stove ready
           put porridge on
           milk on to warm and make milo
           collect/chop firewood (Corbyn help)
           collect kindling too (Corbyn help)
Vellvin: Put washing on  and hang washing out
Autumn: Put washing on and hang washing out
Rogan: Bring down hampers
           fill bedtime bags
           garbage out
           kitty litter, food water and tidy
Eden: stack dishwasher and wash up extras
           wipe down ALL benches and tidy them
            sweep areas in kitchen that need it
Moran:  unstack dishwasher
            wiping down chairs
            sweep upstairs bathroom
Myffwyn: unstack dishwasher
                wiping down vanities
                sweep M and D bathroom
Corbyn: help Saxon with wood
             wiping over toilets
             sweep downstairs bathroom
Mummy: make bread 2 loaves 

All: 10 min tidy up
LUNCH~

Moran: Unstack the dishwasher
            wipe table and chairs
Myffwyn: Unstack the dishwasher
               wipe table and chairs
Corbyn: Unstack the dishwasher
             wipe table and chairs
Rogan: Setting the table with all lunch food items
Eden: Setting the table with all lunch food items
Vellvin: Clearing the table and stack the dishwasher and wipe all benches
Saxon: Sweep through the family room up to and including the lounge room.
Autumn: sweep kitchen, pantry and laundry

AFTER SCHOOL TIDY UP:
Library room tidied up and swept
Monday: Autumn
Tuesday: Eden
Wednesday: Saxon
Thursday: Vellvin
Friday: Rogan

AFTERNOON  CLEANING: 20 mins
2 areas per week..3 week cycle

Cycle 1: Bedrooms, Lounge room, family room
Cycle 2: Kitchen, pantry, library room, loft
Cycle3: Butterfly room, guest room, study, all tiled areas.

*Dust, polish, window sills, skirting boards, sweep (if needed) mop, clean under lounges and cushions, pictures, railings, vacuum rugs, cupboards wiped down

All: 15 min tidy up
EVENING: Groups rotate task on a fortnightly basis
Group 1: Autumn and Vellvin
Group 2: Saxon and Eden
Group 3: Rogan, Moran, Myffwyn and Corbyn

Task 1: Help Dinner prep
            help bath prep

Task2: tidy up veranda
           folding up
           putting away
           close curtains

Task 3: get washing in
            unstack dishwasher
            set table

AFTER DINNER CLEAN UP:
ALL:  clear and stack dishwasher, wash up, sweep floor,
          set table for breakfast,
          Medicine for Moran
          Little children teeth cleaned

FAMILY TIME:      
          Read to little ones
          Bible read aloud
          Read aloud
          Rosary

          Little ones to bed  while Middle children do own thing

          Then Mummy and Daddy to play card game, short board game, or read alouds while doing
          crafts together with these children

MORNING TEA SCHEDULE: to make something of your choice on the appropriate day to be put in freezer or eaten that or next day or even for sweets if we have an abundance. This can be done at any time of the day to suit the person involved.
Monday: Vellvin
Tuesday: Autumn
Wednesday: Rogan
Thursday: Eden
Friday: Saxon
Saturday: Mummy
Sunday: Mummy

Well that is a look into the workings of how we would like our home to work at the moment. Who know it might actually work for us too!

Blessings to you and your homes,

Compassion and Comfort

 “Children are meant to understand compassion and comfort because they have received compassion and comfort - and this should be in the family setting. A family should be a place where comfort is experienced and understood, so that the people are prepared to give comfort to others.” Edith Schaffer

When I first saw this quote from Edith Schaffer I was not surprised that it was written by her. In all her writings on family, her compassion and her love of creating a place of comfort for all within the family circle is evident in her lifestyle. It is an overflow of the love of God within her life that spreads to all within the environment she created.

I rejoiced to see that she seemed to feel the same way about compassion and comfort and the value it has in our homes  as I do, but more importantly that it should be a priority in the care of our children and therefore in the care of all within our immediate circle of influence.

How can we expect our children to imitate these values if we do not give them these experiences in the way we relate to each and every child within our lives.
It should not matter if we have access to one or 20 children. Children model the behaviours they see in the adults they are exposed to and we have a responsibility not only as parents but to all children we come into contact with to create an environment of compassion and comfort.

This can be done with our thoughts, our words, facial expressions and the way we interact with others.

We can make a difference in the world. We have the opportunity to send into the world young adults who have been children that have benefited from a home that is filled with compassion and comfort.

I believe that as a society we have little compassion for people in general and very little compassion for children especially. Generally there seems to be a more important focus on the environment and the creatures that are within it than the people who are responsible for them.

How can a society that values environmental and monetary concerns above the care and compassion of children have any thought for how those children, that they wish to influence for their own gains, that those children may be concerned with anything at all except their own desires, as this is what has been modelled to them over the years.

I have always loved the quote" The hand that rocks the cradle..is the hand that rules the world" and while this mostly refers to mothers I think we can use it here in relating to the importance of compassion and comfort.

If a child has grown up with these values as a mainstay of their life, we can expect that as a general rule of thumb that they will pass on those values as well. Even if life has not been a bed of roses we still can have compassion and place the comfort of others above our own selfish needs. In fact I believe it is a requirement of Christian living.

I am a great believer in the importance of compassion over many other values. When we have compassion for our little children I think we show God's love and mercy as a basis on which we base our lives.

Compassion is an underrated value in our lives and I am so grateful that I have been exposed to writers like Edith Schaffer who lived their lives in full view of others and believed that family, compassion and comfort were all an extension of the love of God and  then had the ability to share that with others.

 Blessings to you and your homes,

Simplicity and Salt

I have been pondering the meaning of simplicity for some time now and a last week I was thinking about it again after reading my dear friend Maria's post on clothing. I just love how I can be encouraged to think about the true values in my life by the kindred spirits I have found on line.
I certainly do not think this is a coincidence as I believe God leads us to a person or book or even a verse to help us be led in the direction he is taking us.

So I was not surprised as I was pondering how Maria's blog post applied in my own life to hear at Mass on Sunday the reading from Mathew 5 verse 13:
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt lose its savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is good for nothing any more but to be cast out, and to be trodden on by men."
This and the verse from John 17verse 16:
"They are not of the world, as I also am not of the world" as well as the sermon using these themes caused me to think even more broadly about the life I am living and how it is measured in view of my relationship with Jesus.

Some of the questions I have considered are~
* Do I live my life so others can see I am Christ's follower?
* Is this evident in my daily dealings not only with the wider community but in my dealings in my more personal relationships?
* Does the way I present myself say there is anything special or different about myself that might have people wonder why that is and therefore explore the reason why?
* Do I really represent the love of Jesus in my daily actions, thoughts and attitude?

Now I do believe I have never been one to concerned (if that is the right term) of what others think of my actions or ideals. If I have a stance on something I know I will back that up even though no one else thinks the same way I do. If I  am convicted on something I will stand firm.

So while I ponder Maria's post and the ideals within it and am so grateful for the fact I have such kindred spirits to enrich my life with ideas and attitudes that are an example and inspiration that I can emulate, I do think that at different points in our lives and even the lives we are called to live that my stance is slightly different to my good friend Maria's.
I also think this is fine. We are not called to be copycats of one another but to see and take the 'pondering thoughts' that God has pointed out to us and adapt them to our own lives.

In relation to the way we dress I have for over 17 years, since I was expecting Autumn have had a dress style I have loved.
Now this is not a popular style, well perhaps it has more standing now but back when I started wearing it it was not a 'fashion trend.'
There are other styles of dress that I think are very beautiful too. My friend Emily wears these adorable regency dresses but although I love them I do not think they suit my figure. Once again we can all live our lives simply and beautifully but not in the exact same way.

I have a pattern that we have adapted to allow it to have button through, half buttons or no buttons at all but a zipper a the side. It is similar to the one below.

Now in my opinion it is a very simple and plain dress, I usually do not add any decorations or collars to it and have it made in long and short sleeve.
Mostly at the moment I wear it not as fitted as I have done as it allow me to wear it while pregnant. When I am breast feeding a baby for modesty sake I tend to wear a very simple skirt and t-shirt/skivvy or blouse for the ease of feeding. I am very much a brown boot girl and have a pair of blundstone boots for everyday and a pair of more dressy boots for going to town of church etc.

Now usually this style of dress does not appeal to everyone but I love the feeling of femininity and ease of wear it entails. I have during my mothering years been a mother who will sit on the floor with our children. I need to be able to do this without worrying about what my clothing is doing, this enables me to play freely with out children and enjoy the time with them.

As I have said I believe God gives us nudges in the direction he wants us to follow and so very early on in our marriage I was influenced in my reading by two very special women. Edith Schaffer and Emilie Barnes. Both these women were very feminine and committed to a simple life of serving God and their family. Both of them were inspired by a calling in showing the value of family and the wife/mother's role within it. This influenced my own thinking and the way I was trying to keep our home.

I remember seeing  the 'saltyness' that set them apart from others and that appealed to me. To be visibly different can be a good trait if it causes others to question what it  is about us that makes us like that. If our goal is to inspire others to look to Jesus as the way the truth and the light.

However, how we dress should never surpass the way we act toward others. If we want others to see the love of Christ then they must see Christ in us. So in my everyday life I need to be aware of my responses in ALL situations and respond as Christ would.

How easy that is to say and yet how hard this can be to do. I would like to encourage you that we can do this. We need to be close to our Saviour to be like him, devoting time in prayer and Bible reading to know how to 'think and act with the mind of Christ'.

I must admit as I was pondering these thoughts last week I was pleased and humbled by some remarks made to me.

I was at my first ante-natal booking in at the hospital with a midwife I have never seen before. As back ground I have had three or our children at this hospital before. I was in the room giving information to the midwife when I heard voices out side the door, my midwife (whose name I have shamefully forgotten) walked out to organise something, while out of the room three nurses walked in. One of them was the midwife who was with me for my entire labour with Arwen and the other was there for part of it. Olga was a beautiful midwife to have during this time and she came up to me and gave me a great big hug, well several in fact. She said she had heard I was coming back in to have another baby and was so pleased to see me. How well I was looking and I thought that not only was that important to me as a person but I also feel it is a good example as the mother of many children. (That is another post about the importance of our attitude and presentation as the mothers of large families)

Now the part that I am getting to that  I couldn't help but feel was an example of being a woman of simplicity but of being salty.
Olga said she had said to the other midwife " You are so lucky to have Gae, she is such a beautiful person!" Now I say this not to brag but to point out that in any circumstance, and as women know giving birth is often not an ideal circumstance to give a good impression, we still are ambassadors for Christ and so are called to be salt of the earth.

Mandy the other nurse was the special lactation nurse we had come to our home over a period of months to help with our little Arwen's feeding issues. She came every couple of days for quite a while and yet the impression we left her was a good one too. Not through any falseness on our behalf but in our genuine example of trying to live our lives as God had called us to.

Our lives are an opportunity to live the experiences that are placed in our hands to the honour and glory of our Lord.

Simplicity and saltiness are staples we can build our lives on, in fact the very foundation of our lives can be built upon these two values. To live our lives in simplicity and with a fair amount of salt to 'season' not only our own lives but all those whom we have contact with.

What a responsibility! What a mission! What a labour of love!

I have 'planning' this post in my head for a week now and I am sure I didn't cover it the way I had wanted to approach this topic, so if it sounds strange please forgive my ramblings.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Gratitude ♥

This is a very late post on the gratitude I have felt for your very beautiful comments over the last weeks on some of my more heartfelt posts. I was especially thankful for the beautiful encouragement that was spread my way after my post on Words can Hurt

I really wanted to post how much I was blessed by each and every comment  earlier but was very caught up in the fact our oldest son was leaving to go away to Uni, and while I pondered in my heart all the beautiful sentiments left here I really wanted to give Kynan as much attention as I could before I left.

I know that you will understand this but I did want to say I am sorry I did not respond earlier for your taking the time and effort to leave comments.

If fact I would like to thank all the people who do follow my blog and pop in to say hello and encourage me. I am blessed, inspired and encouraged by you all and give thanks for the opportunity to get to know you and share our lives with you.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Words can Hurt......Really!

I have struggled on whether to share this post or not but finally decided that perhaps it may help someone else who may be undergoing the same type of experiences I have, because I don't believe for an instant that this is just something  I have undergone but that it happens to others as well.

Recently I was hurt by someones words to me. These words were spoken to me not due to something I had done or said but because they were angry about a particular situation, and so used that opportunity to say something that obviously had been on her heart. Now perhaps I am being sensitive to this and perhaps I should not dwell on this but I guess over a period of years this particular person has continued to say these type of remarks to me and mostly within our home and while visiting.

The type of comments are rather personal and deal with her opinion of how I especially, (because it must be me, no one else in our family has an opinion that hasn't come from me or could possible be the source of the problem except me,) am the reason that we have these issues that relate to our home, how our children behave or the seemingly useless things I do with my time, like making crafts etc. Here are the 'treasures of my heart' that I have been hurt with.

I have in the last week finished Arwen's Cross stitch (as you would know) made Arwen a late birthday present, which was  a little dolly and was about to embark upon some knitted hearts to share with my family for Valentines day. When once again the comments about 'the useless things that I make and how they only find themselves on the floor'. That really I should be using the money spent on these items to make worthwhile items like clothes and knitting garments instead of these 'waste of time items'.

I have over the time of our marriage taught myself any of the homemaking skills I have developed as  well as making the majority of home decorating and crafting items for our home.
I well remember the reason I started making items for our home stemmed from the lack of money to decorate and then using the skills I was developing to bring beauty to our home. So I believe I have been thrifty in using these skills to beautify our living space and family life. I have not had comment from my husband or children to indicate they are displeased with what I do.

I admit I have never been a great 'sewer of garments' and only now am I starting to knit and crochet some things, with great difficulty I might add actually, as I tend to forget how to do some part of both these skills. So I have never attempted any large projects, probably as I have no real ability or confidence to do this. My sewing skills for dress making are very limited but I have made some lovely clothes over the years and am trying to teach our girls the basics, even with my limited time and skill level.

However I have been proud of the homemaking I have achieved and the fact that my husband and children all  enjoy the little extras I create, whether for birthdays or feast days or just because I want to make something for a child's enjoyment that brings me a sense of fulfillment and joy.

This then begs the question...Does it mean that because my creativity and/or skill does not make it into 'the big leagues' that I should not use the creative  aspects of my homemaking that I believe that God has given each to each of us to make our home and life more beautiful? I don't believe so!

We have children that are tremendously creative. Each and every one has many gifts that in different ways bless us with what they create.  We have some beautiful artists, storytellers, woodworkers, felters, musicians and sewing/knitting/crocheting people BUT never, not once have I asked them to not use these gifts for the purpose they would like to or to not be who they are.

I have encouraged them in their arts and crafts, I have helped them to the best of my ability and when that isn't enough we source out other resources. I am always open to the children wanting to expand their creative abilities and use new materials or just some other skill they are interested in learning.
I would be so devastated to learn that something I had said would make our children think that I did not appreciate their handy work or the time and effort they had put into the work they had produced.
This is important to me. This I believe can scar a persons creative ability or even their very self confidence. I would never want that on my conscience, believe me!!

I would also like to say that I wouldn't like anyone to look at my own efforts that I may share here in this space and feel that they could never achieve anything creatively. Creative ability is in everyone and I believe it just needs tapping to be found and used, not only for our own benefit but also to the glory of the God who created us and gave us that ability.

Why would I go to such elaborate lengths to tell you about my sadness and upset, that I have experienced yet again from another.

Because our words can and DO hurt. Our words are an overflow of what we think and especially in times of crises I have found that the true feelings of others are actually 'uttered into being.'

I have always been a firm believer of the bible quote~
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8

I cannot believe that if we dwell on this verse that a lifetime of negative comments and words will be any ones fate. That if we follow these words as a guideline that the people we interact with will ever have reason to doubt we are true children of God.

So many times we have the opportunity to honour this verse but for what ever reason we CHOOSE to say something that will... 'just put that other person in their place, or we believe we say it for their own good.' But I would challenge you and myself that mostly if you NEED to say something like this it is not for the other persons good but for our own SELFISH reasons.


I would also like to add that mostly when this has happened to me in this particular circumstance, that the hurt is like a reopening of an old wound. it hurts no matter how many times it has been said or how long since it  was said last.I have found that even though  the words uttered are about things I have treasured in our home and in my heart that the best way to deal with this is to SAY NOTHING. 

My gosh it is hard and yes I have not always done this, and yes I struggle with the feeling of  unworthiness that comes from the uttered words and then the asking of myself 'why does she say that to me, why can't she compliment me on anything I do'.


However perhaps this experience can be used to for good.......yes I do try to think that. I try to remember  these experiences when I talk to my husband, to my children and to others. I have over the years tried to encourage others in their tasks,vocations and to look for the good in others. I try to build up and not tear down and most of all I try to remember that the WAY I SAY SOMETHING can make all the difference as well. 

The way I speak is just as important as what I say. I think this is self evident but I have to remind myself that speaking in a polite and soft way with a gentle heart  creates a much different response from the listener as well as to my own expectations and that it really is very important to speak in this manner.

Am I perfect, the Lord knows I am not but I also believe He knows my heart and He knows my intent and that I strive and long to become more like Jesus each and every day.


I have also been dwelling on some words of advice I received today "to not let your happiness come from other peoples opinions of you but from the Lord. To dwell only on the Lord and his love and opinion of you" and while I do believe this it still does not stop the hurt, and I still struggle with the ongoing hurt of the uttered words.  But to know I am doing and being who I can be through the strength of God is a comfort to me, and I am trying to dwell in His love and care.


I hope and pray that even though this was a 'non happy' post that it in some way speaks to your heart and that in doing so it will help you to reach out to those who you love and know and encourage them in your own way.

But remember~
Words can hurt or words can build up......which will you and I use!!

Blessings to you and your homes,

Sacrificial Love!!

What do you think of when we talk of 'Sacrifical Love'?

Mostly for us Christians it refers to the love of Jesus Christ and his death on the Cross at Calvary for our redemption.
But can it mean more than that,? Yes I think it does and I believe we are called to offer our own sacrificial love each day, everyday, for the rest of our lives.

When I write it like this it sound scary and an impossible task but each time I review this in my own personal life I know that IS what God has called me to do.

For some people God asks a lot with his call to 'sacrifical love'. He asks for their very lives or the lives of loved ones and major upheavals in life. This doesn't mean that God does not expect me to live a life of 'sacrifical love' each day though. I have never been asked for this demonstration of my love for him, and frankly I am not sure I could handle that!

My offer each and every day of 'sacrificial love' is in the little things that happen in my daily life. While I wish I could say that I do this all the time without thinking and that I have developed this as a lifestyle, I know I cannot say that. At some times I am better at it than others. Sometimes I can even help our children see this in my life and hopefully they will be encouraged by it and embrace it as well, but mostly I flounder with the small progresses and then no progress for some time.

Sometimes I think it is easy for mothers (and fathers) to think of this sacrificial love in terms of a new born or very small baby and the fact we are required to be 'on demand' for our little cherubs.
The feeding, changing and loving that goes into a very dependant baby seems to be very much alright and acceptable as a 'sacrificial love' thing.

But what about those little tykes that are just a bit too rambunctious after a long day of play and learning, or those older children who are tending through an emotional stage and of course those young adults and youths that dwell in our homes and the complex issues that they bring to the mix. Let us not forget also that some of us have been blessed with those more dependant children, and those with more special needs  and they  tend to require a much more giving and 'sacrificial love' on a more ongoing basis.

Do we allow these individuals to cramp into our personal space, demanding our much sought after attention, or to let some of their own preferences and individual likes be put in front of our own choices?

Must we always have OUR own way, or do we need to evaluate the thought of 'sacrificial love'.
Of course after a long day at work or within the home it can be quite easy to say NO! I want my own personal space or have it the way I like it.

However I know I need to ask myself at these times; Is this more important than allowing the other person their own way. Is what I want to do or have, or not have done of more value than the other persons choice? I think in some ways being the parents  in these situations can lead to a very selfish attitude, simply because we are the parents.

But I would have to ask myself. Is this a moral issue that requires me to respond in this manner? Is it an issue of obedience for a cause? Or is it simply that I don't really want to be bothered with that noise, issue or the lateness of the hour because it prevents my......... from happening in the way I had planned.

I do believe that our children learn from the behaviours or us parents! How can we expect them to be servants to one another and thus to serve our Lord and King, when we their parents and the closest to them do not model this in our behaviour to one another and to our children.

While I do not pretend to have this 'sacrificial love' thing down pat I do know I try to put relationships first over the more 'typicallly important,' as society dictates of having our home tidy and neat at ALL times. It is more important for me to allow myself the opportunity to serve others by putting their preferences first. And I must say that while our more traditional values of putting our husbands first (of which I agree) is an acceptable fact in our society, I also believe that our children's preferences and needs should be another opportunity of serving the Lord, although this may get me in trouble with some other schools of thought.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Mathew 25: 40

Truly how can I read that and not think of the verse I have taught our children for so many years
" Jesus first, myself last and others in between"

Is this only for children to obey? Or is it for all of us?
For husbands to wives, wives to husbands, parents to children, children to parents and to any others we have the opportunity to serve in our daily lives.

This is our opportunity to allow ourselves to be givers of the lesson taught to us by our Saviour.....SACRIFICIAL LOVE!

I pray that each day I may be a more sacrificial person, a more caring and loving wife and mother, and that my example will help others see the love and joy we have in serving each other, even as Christ served and sacrificed for us.

Blessings to you and your homes,